Anxiety Therapist: 5 Quick Steps for Parenting That Actually Work

Parenting is tough—there's no denying it.

Each day feels like navigating a labyrinth without a map, and stress can build up fast. From the constant demands to the seemingly endless responsibilities, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Anxiety, with its physical sensations and persistent worried thoughts, can make everything feel even heavier. But here's some good news: there are simple steps you can take every day to manage stress and anxiety. Let’s explore five quick steps that can help you navigate anxiety and regain calmness.

Anxiety Therapist Steps: “I Feel Stressed or Anxious!”

You named it…the emotions you feel. That’s really what happens first. We have to catch how we are feeling in order to start working through it. Name it by saying, “I feel…anxious!…angry…sad.” Stress emerges when demands of parenting start to outweigh the resources you have available. That overwhelming pressure and the persistent unease you feel are not just mental; they manifest physically in our bodies, making it even harder to cope. 

“I often think that parenting is really an exercise in our own development and growth; when we have kids, we are confronted with so many truths about ourselves, our childhoods, and our relationships with our families of origin. And while we can use this information to learn and unlearn, break cycles, and heal, we have to do this work while also caring for our kids, managing tantrums, getting by on limited sleep, and feeling depleted. That’s a lot.” 

― Becky Kennedy, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Anxiety Treatment: It’s About the Small Things We Do Every Day

The key to managing stress and anxiety often lies in the small, daily actions we take. These aren’t grand gestures but simple practices that can be integrated into your busy life. They only take a few minutes and can significantly impact how you handle stressful moments. Here’s a look at five quick steps that actually work.

Becoming aware of, working through, and then letting go of anxious thoughts can help relieve anxiety. 

— Dr. Konstantin Lukin, Ph.D. 6 Tips for Coping with Parent Anxiety

Anxiety Therapist Step: 1. STOP: Take a Step Back, Observe, Proceed Mindfully

When stress or anxiety hits, it’s crucial to take a moment to pause and regroup. The STOP technique—standing for “Take a Step Back, Observe, Proceed Mindfully”—is a simple yet powerful tool. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, literally take a step back from the situation. Slow down and observe what’s happening around you and within you.

Example: Imagine you’ve just spilled an egg carton on the floor while your toddler is about to come into the kitchen and you’re juggling breakfast and getting your oldest ready for school. Feeling overwhelmed, you remember to use the STOP technique. You scoop up your toddler, take a deep breath, and step back to observe the chaos. You notice your racing thoughts and the tightness in your chest. By focusing on one task at a time and accepting that you have an extra task on your plate this morning, you regain control of the situation. This helps you move forward with a clearer mind and reduced stress.

Anxiety Therapist Step 2: Emotional Mind: Ride the Wave of Emotions

Emotions are like waves—they rise, peak, and eventually fall. When you’re in the midst of an emotional storm, it’s helpful to remember that these feelings are temporary and will pass. Recognize when you’re in your “emotional mind” and remind yourself that these intense emotions are not permanent.

Example: If you’re feeling a surge of anxiety, acknowledge it by saying, “I notice I am anxiety. This will pass.” By accepting that your emotions are a passing wave, you can take the next steps to manage them more effectively.

Anxiety Therapist Step 3: Anchoring: Ground Yourself

Anchoring is about regaining your stability when you’re caught up in the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. To anchor yourself, firmly plant both feet on the ground and mentally acknowledge your connection to the earth. This physical act helps bring you back to the present moment.

Example: Stand with both feet firmly planted on the floor. Say to yourself, “I am supported by the earth. I am grounded.” Feel the stability of your stance and observe how this physical connection helps slow the spiral of overwhelming thoughts. Anchoring can bring a sense of calm and stability, pulling you out of the spiral of anxiety.

Anxiety Therapist Step 4: Five Senses: Use Sensory Awareness

Our five senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste—can be powerful tools to anchor us in the present. The 5,4,3,2,1 method is a simple technique where you focus on your senses to ground yourself. 

Example: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try this: Observe 5 things you see around you, touch 4 objects within reach, listen to 3 distinct sounds, notice 2 different smells, and identify 1 taste. Alternatively, focus on just one sense for a quick grounding exercise. For instance, grab an ice pack from the freezer and place it on your neck. Pay attention to the cold sensation and how it feels on your skin. This simple exercise can help bring your focus back and reduce the intensity of your emotions.

Anxiety Therapist Step 5: Opposite Action: Change Your Reaction

Opposite action is a strategy for altering your usual responses. Instead of reacting with overwhelm or frustration, choose a response that aligns with the opposite emotion. This technique can be especially useful in managing intense feelings and improving interactions with your children.

Example: If you’re feeling anger and are tempted to yell, take a deep breath and pause. Choose a response that reflects calmness and understanding. This might mean speaking in a soothing tone or taking a moment to calmly explain the situation to your child. Similarly, if you’re feeling sad, try to engage in activities that bring you joy or comfort. Although it might take practice, opposite action can help you manage your emotions more effectively.

Anxiety Therapist: Professional Support

If you find these techniques helpful but still would like additional support. I am an anxiety therapist and art therapist in Milwaukee, WI who can provide personalized anxiety treatment. I’m Amanda Metropolus, a licensed professional counselor, art therapist, and founder of Fresh Therapy LLC. I understand the challenges of balancing parenting with personal well-being. I offer online therapy throughout Wisconsin and Colorado or in-person sessions in Milwaukee, WI. I can help you manage anxiety and stress. Schedule a Free Consultation Today.

About four-in-ten parents (41%) say being a parent is tiring and 29% say it is stressful all or most of the time.

— Pew Research Article: Parenting in America Today by Rachel Minkin and Juliana Menasce Horowitz

By integrating these five quick steps into your daily routine, you can find more balance and calm amidst the chaos of parenting. Remember, managing stress and anxiety doesn’t require drastic changes—often, it’s the small, intentional actions that make the biggest difference. Reach out for support if needed, and take care of yourself as you navigate this challenging yet rewarding journey of parenthood.